The "psycho"therapist

 

        The setting is a typical therapist's room, if you have ever been in one before. If not, visit it at least once, to be able to imagine it well. (a good therapist will point out something that's wrong with you and you will suddenly realize you have been visiting your therapist for a decade now!)

 

As a part of the furniture, you will find a couch, a chair, a wall-clock, a table with some stationery on it, flower vase and a therapist. As essentials, you will find bottles of water and tissues.

(after all, crying is an important activity in this room)

 

Scene 1:

 

Enter the client, looking all solemn and grumpy.

 

Therapist (all cheery): Hello, hello! I think this is your first time in therapy! Welcome…welcome…

Client: er…yes…

Therapist (still in a cheerful tone):  please take a seat…

Client is about to sit on the couch.

Therapist: NO no nooo….sit on the chair now…you can take the couch when I tell you to…

Client: But I will feel more comfortable sitting on the couch!

 

Therapist: But it’s bad luck if my client sits on the couch first. So far, I have had 3 clients who sat on the couch before they sat on the chair.

 

Client: So, what happened to them?

Therapist: They got better in 3 sessions!

 

Client looks perplexed.

 

Therapist: Sit on the chair please!

 

Client complies meekly.

 

Therapist: Tell me, what brings you here today?

Client: Well…There’s a lot going on in my life…I don’t know where to start…

Therapist: Really? I’m glad you have so much going on in your life…I wish I had too…

Client (interrupting): I didn’t mean that I had good things going…

Therapist: Oh! You didn’t articulate it well…ok…go on then…

Client: umm…as I said, I don’t have good things going my way…which means that I have many upsetting things happen to me all at the same time…

Therapist: uh uh…

Client: I feel so many things all at the same time…

Therapist: Are you in a relationship?

Client: Eh?

Therapist: I asked if you were in a relationship right now?

Client: Uh…no…

Therapist: Then how come you are feeling so many things at the same time?

Client: What does that mean? Can one not feel many things at the same time if one is not in a relationship?

Therapist: Of course, they can…It’s just that research proves that when someone is in a relationship, they feel many things at the same time..You drift away from the topic a lot, don’t you?

Client (sighing): I do? See..that’s something that’s going wrong for me too then! Thanks for the insight…

Therapist nodding serenely.

 

Therapist: Please continue and tell me all that is bothering you!

Client: Well…I think I feel depressed all the time…

Therapist: You think or feel?

Client: I think that’s what I feel…I don’t know what I feel..

Therapist: hmm..typical…

Client: What do you mean “typical”?

Therapist: Never mind…go on…you feel depressed..

Client: Yeah…and I don’t feel like waking up most mornings…not to mention that I hardly sleep at night…maybe an hour or so…I feel so tired throughout the day…isn’t that a sign of depression…

Therapist: sometimes…I also feel that…when I have more than 4 clients in a day, then I feel restless and can’t sleep and feel so tired…

Client: uh?

Therapist: Yeah…you are my 4^th client for the day…hope I can sleep well tonight…

Client: oh…I don’t know what to say…I hope you are able to sleep well tonight too…at least someone deserves that!

Therapist: But let me tell you this…I have good sleep hygiene…do you know what sleep hygiene is?

Client: no

Therapist: You are not very well-informed, are you?..I will tell you…sleep hygiene is when you follow good practices before sleeping..like turning off your phone and other electronic gadgets…maybe reading a book or meditating..or drinking a glass of warm milk…

Talking of warm milk…I feel like having hot chocolate…do you want some? Makes you feel better!

Client: ummm…sure!

 

Therapist gets up from his chair and walks out of the room. 15 minutes later, returns with 2 steaming mugs of hot chocolate, places one before the client, sits back on his chair and takes a slow sip, smiles and sighs.

 

Therapist: Heaven! Do you like it? I like it sweet. See if it’s ok for you.

Client: It’s very hot.

Therapist: You always look at what’s wrong, you know! Always looking at the glass as half-empty is not good.

Client (stunned): sorry.

Therapist: It’s ok. Have your hot chocolate before it turns cold. And again you have drifted away from the topic.

Client (feeling ashamed): sorry for that too.

Therapist: No problem. I am very patient with my clients. Go on.

Client: I have a job but I don’t like it too much. It pays me well but somehow I don’t have what people call as job satisfaction.

Therapist: See? Again, pessimistic. You should learn to count your blessings. At least, you have a job and it pays you well.

For me, I have to wait for clients to come. Sometimes they don’t, which means I don’t earn. So yeah…you have to learn to look on the brighter side.

Client: I am very negative, no?

Therapist: It’s ok..it happens…as we progress with our sessions, we will make you optimistic. So remember to continue coming back to therapy otherwise you may not experience positivity. 

Client: Yeah…I really want to be positive. I want to learn from you.

Client touches the mug of hot chocolate. It’s still too hot.

 

Client: So how can I be more optimistic?

Therapist: by being more positive. Look at what you have right now. You are comfortably sitting in a chair, with a cup of free hot chocolate and listening to words of wisdom from an experienced therapist. Isn’t that great?

Client: I guess it is. But…nothing positive is happening in my life!

Therapist: That’s so bad of you to say that. I just told you about the positive thing in your life right now.

Client: That’s right now, not before that.

Therapist: hmm…you have a lot to change in yourself.

Looking at the clock on the wall.

 

Therapist: Your time is up.

Client: Already? I thought the session was for one hour. 

Therapist: no..50 minutes…

Client: Can you please make it one hour?

Therapist: no, sorry…a rule is a rule…we will continue next week…next session, make sure you don’t drift away from the topic and waste time.

Client (meekly): ok. Sorry. I will book an appointment for the next week.

 

Client touches the mug of hot chocolate – it is warm enough to drink now, picks up the mug.

 

Therapist: your time is up. I like to be professional.

 

Client sadly puts the mug back on the table and leaves.

 

End of scene 1.