To say or not to say

My life has been wonderful so far, filled with various experiences - giving me glimpses to all possible emotions that can exist in a human being.

I am a fairly intimidating person so I have never experienced peer pressure, until my 39th birthday. 

My association with birthdays is a tricky one. I usually have fun (in my own way) and like my birthday to be filled with memories rather than material gifts. With that said, even rituals like cutting a cake and making a wish don't matter to me.

...Which, I have been made to feel, is not a great way of looking at birthdays. Birthdays MUST include celebration, partying, excitement, gifts, cakes and definitely a plan that makes others feel that my birthday is worthwhile.

Well, I have a weird complex and an ungrateful attitude towards receiving gifts, which is definitely mannerless and that I will change over a period of time. For sure. 

Nevertheless, I am now able to empathize with people who face peer pressure at various ages. My findings are as follows:

1. If there are too many people saying it (especially people who matter), I must be wrong.

2. If others are excited about something and expect you to do the same, it's a huge conflict between what I want and what they do.

3. Certain statements from people who care about me can create a lifelong impression (I was told that I should be given shock treatment for not being excited at all about my birthday)

4. If I don't comply with others, I am likely to lose their friendship or at least create estrangement.

5. Projection of emotions is a big thing. Especially if people aren't aware that they are doing it. Sharing their feelings regardless of what you are feeling can be a task.

6. It is difficult to hold your own when this information is constantly relayed to you over days or weeks.

7. Often times, others' excitement can create a FOMO (fear of missing out) in me. 

How did I cope with it:

1. I made myself understand that people mean well.

2. Accepting anything from people is not an obligation. It is okay if I am never able to pay them back in any way.

3. It's okay to agree to disagree. Healthy relationships withstand smaller setbacks.

4. It's okay to get excited or not, if I feel like it.

Overall, I am pretty excited that the premise of my birthday brought about an experience like this. And I got my wish too! - a memory has been created.